Do you prepare talking points before a gathering or just go with the flow? Why?
I am wondering how to be a better conversationalist at gatherings.
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Answers ( 1 )
This is the kind of thing that there's no one answer. In social situations some people are naturally good conversationalists and they can easily adapt.. There are all levels of comfort for folks, so one answer isn't necessarily going to suit everyone. Me, I'm very uncomfortable in groups of people, and at times I've avoided them completely, or I get so nervous that I just start yammering on about something I know, which is me, so I may come across as self-obsessed. What I have found though is depending on the group, and the reason for the gathering, that to just be a listener for awhile is the best option. Grab a drink and casually follow along with a group's conversation, moving on from one group to another if the conversation doesn't fit you well. Listening can be a very good learning experience, you learn a bit about the people there, how they interact with each other, get glimpses of their personalities, and get opinions that you might not have heard before. It can give you a lot more information than if you were trying to get something started. So if you aren't already a good natural conversationalist, let others do it, and follow along. Trying to go into a setting with notes prepared as if it was a lecture may not come off as well as you might have thought. Unless of course it's a specific and topical event, then I'd bone up on the current events to be able to respond intelligently. But otherwise, let the gifted talkers get the ball rolling and see where it goes.
And one last bit of advice - the thing that always does work, if you have little to nothing to contribute to a conversation, then just nodding your head when you hear something interesting, then looking at the others in the group, is in itself, participating.