Is it better to take space when an argument gets heated or yo try and hash it out in the heat of the moment?
Trying to find good strategies for handling disagreements.
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Answers ( 2 )
My personal preference is to "take space" -- i.e. withdraw from the argument until everyone cools off. Then bring it up again in a thoughtful and understanding way. If it immediately becomes heated again, then I might just take "permanent space" unless the person is very important to me.
YMMV.
It's near impossible for most people to maintain a clear head when in an escalated emotional state. And that means any emotional state other than your average state of being. Being frightened, overwhelmed, exuberant or angry, your emotions will color any reaction you may have to an experience. I've seen people utterly happy and excited make judgments in error, and I've seen and experience myself how being frightened can impair you from making a good decision.
So when you've having a heated argument, sure you can try and hash it out if you have a good handle on your emotions. But in most cases, it's better to try and resolve a problem when emotions aren't so far in front of you that it makes it hard to think clearly. Once people start to calm down and they are no longer engaged in a defensive or offensive position, they will fall to the middle range of emotion, the sense more of calm. That normal state of being, the calm emotion, that's where clear thought can occur, that's where a clear head can let you see the bigger picture and work more effectively to resolve an argument. It doesn't always work, especially when it's a matter of opinion that won't change from either side, but in the case of arguing it helps to also hear what the other is saying, and it may make more sense when one is clearheaded.