How do I curtail overfamiliarity between my husband and his female friends?
My husband is the kind of person who keeps more female friends than male friends. I was aware of this before our marriage but I wasn't bothered then because the relationship was a distant one. After our wedding, I started noticing how close he is to them. I'm not comfortable with this, how do I set boundaries between them?
Answers ( 1 )
You do not set boundaries between your husband and his friends; only he can set those boundaries.
What you can do is talk to him about your discomfort.
And it needs to be clear: It is your discomfort. You can point out that your discomfort is with his friends, but it is still your discomfort.
This kind of thing sucks all the way around, and there isn't an easy or 'good' way through it; you either trust him, or you do not trust him; bottom line is, either he has to drop his friends to make you more comfortable- an action which will leave a very bad taste in his mouth regarding your trust in him- or you have to get over your mistrust and accept the risk of him straying.
Again, there is no easy way through this- you need to talk, the two of you, about trust, and how uncomfortable his present relationships with these women make you feel.
Oh, you can ask him to put himself in your shoes, you can join in with he and his friends so everyone is aware of the relationship lines- but bottom line is, you do not trust him with his friends, whether he makes the first move or one of them does, it is HIS possible reaction which makes you uncomfortable. So, time to fish or cut bait: Talk to him about your discomfort with his female friends.