What should I do
have a almost 2 year old child. I am a single mother dealing with a very narcissistic father to my child. He had always been abusive with me . I separated once I had my child for the sake of my daughter and myself . Although he has never harmed my daughter. He always harms me every chance he gets . Should I allow him to see be able to see my daughter and be in her life ? Or in the best thing to do is restrict him and wait till she is older so she can see and realize for herself what kind of person he can be . Please I am open to any advice and feedback thank you !
Answers ( 1 )
While I can’t speak to this as a professional, I can as a survivor of spousal and familial abuse. If he is harming you, that’s a serious concern, and it should be addressed legally if you want to protect your child. Now it doesn’t matter at this point if he is not harming her, what matters is that you are being harmed, and your child is being subjected to abuse through yours. No matter what, her mother, who is caring for her, is being abused. That is unspeakable. And that also speaks to a potentially explosive and dangerous situation for your child. And she’s only two, how old will she be when he does start to harm her, 3, 4, 7, 10?
No, he should not be allowed to see the child, but that should be a legal decision for both your protection. You will need to gain full custody to protect your child. And his history of abuse needs to be proven unequivocally - meaning, you need hard evidence to his abuse. You need to save any messages or threats. You need proof of any injuries he gave you - doctor’s reports and photos. You need proof to present a case of his behavior being dangerous. And you need police reports if you can do this. Otherwise he can dispute any claims and get custody. You need to protect yourself, and you need to protect your child.
I STRONGLY advise speaking with domestic violence counsellors and get help and support. No matter how far you choose to go, the short answer is simple, he should not come near you or your child. Protect yourselves.