Taking Care of a Senior Adult
I have recently had to resign my job to become a full-time care-giver to a family member. Are there resources that I can use/obtain to help provide for our expenses? Where do I begin to find help?
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Answers ( 1 )
Hello, James- I truly hope I can uncover some help for you and your loved one. If you are in the United States, I am sorry to say there is not much in the way of supplemental income provided by various agencies to help defray the costs of becoming a full-time caregiver. There is some, and most of it is dependent upon the person cared-for meeting certain benchmarks.
For instance US Military Veterans who receive care from the VA can receive monies to defray caregiving costs. If your loved one has long-term care or disability insurance, that can help, usually, too.
Medicare pays for certain help after a qualifying hospital stay, and in some states, Medicaid helps. Some states also have stipends for caregivers who meet certain qualifications which are needed (ordered) by the cared-for person's physician. It's all a mish-mashed crapshoot of a system which doesn't provide much at all, in the first place, and even more rarely in the specific.
So, what I am going to suggest, since most of these services depend upon a qualifying identifier and I have no way of knowing that about you or your loved one, is that you get in touch with both of the following agencies/people:
Your local area Agency on Aging/Senior Services office. This agency is usually a part of your Department of Human Services- such as food insecurity issues, housing assistance, child care issues- these are the people who know the rules where you are, what is available and how to go about getting it. These are the folks who minored in Sociology, usually.
Next a lawyer- and not just any lawyer, a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law. They are not rare birds, but they aren't always easy to find right where you are, If you have to drive to get there, do it- this is the person who can look over all of the finances, and tell you whether or not you can get a reverse mortgage, make sure you have the appropriate legal paperwork and protections in place, and counsel you on the best way to navigate through what is going to become a maze of --- bovine manure.
The two suggestions, above, are necessary, but I am now going to tell you something you don't want to know, but really need to consider: In just under a third of such caregiving scenarios, the caregiver dies first.
Caregiving is terribly stressful- it is constant all day long, often all night long, and it doesn't get better until it is over- with a heartbreaking finality. That's bad enough, but caregiving has an added component: You never know for sure if you are doing it right, helping or hurting, capable of doing it better. It is very difficult mentally, emotionally, and it takes a toll. Which is why you need the legal paperwork in place, so if something happens to you, your loved one is cared for.
You WILL need help- and so you have to have such help ready- what about your own medical appointments? What about your need for time to yourself, to decompress, to not have to be a caregiver for a few hours? I had a client once who waited over seven months to get a haircut- he had no one to watch his wife, and couldn't physically bring her along. You will need help- caregiving is too stressful to do without help.
Such help, if not from other family members, can come through churches, Senior programs, businesses which specialize in companionship or even medical caregiving. But, you will have to ask about them, because no one is just going to volunteer that information; few people know how badly such is needed.
I am sorry I cannot just say, "Call here here and here, and money comes your way!" I cannot because I do not know enough about your circumstances, nor what is avaialble where you are. But if you contact your Area Agency on Aging/Senior Services, and an Elder Lawyer, you will then have a pretty good map of what is available, and how you access it, and what else you need to do.
Good luck- I hope everything goes smoooooothly for both of you.