What's the best way to let anger pass?
As many people experience, relationships can be emotionally draining and can cause extreme levels of anger, especially during arguments. What's the best way to avoid letting that anger out?
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Answers ( 1 )
Mindfulness or short meditation.
Close your eyes, slow your breathing, and allow yourself to calm down while systematically releasing tension in your body. As you breath, visualize yourself some place soothing like your favorite fishing hole, a beach, or in the arms of your loved one.
Breathe deeply while you count to ten.
In situations where it’s an inappropriate time to air your feelings, this method is useful until you can further explore the cause of your anger. (You’ve probably heard about this technique dozens of times, right? Seem too simple? This tool works, but not if you don’t use it! Yep, brain science supports this method.)
Write down what you are feeling.
Take a moment to write about your angry feelings, e.g., write an uncensored letter to the person who triggered your anger. Afterward, re-read the letter and look for clues to what experiences or vulnerable feelings like hurt or humiliation caused you to protect yourself through anger. (Then shred or burn the letter!) This mind dump empties and slows down your feelings.
Use a stress reliever. Squeezing stress balls or fidget toys to relieve built-up tension can do wonders to alleviate anger, as you self-soothe. The action of opening and closing your fist allows a letting-go process while also relieving anxiety. After you calm down, mentally rehearse a successful resolution with the person who triggered your anger and imagine an outcome that would be ideal.
Take a timeout: It is okay to walk away from a situation that is making you feel angry and do a bit of self-reflection before responding. Walk outside and set your gaze on the beauty of the mountains, or feel the warmth of the sun, or listen to the breeze passing through the trees. This kind of focused attention engages the frontal cortex and effectively causes charged emotions to diffuse.
Being assertive: In certain cases, assertiveness can help put you in the driver's seat and reduce your anger. Using our example above, giving an assertive response to your co-worker would be to use an “I statement,” such as “I’m puzzled by what you said since I had my part of the project completed and submitted to you last week.” This reply now shifts things back to your co-worker, provides new information, and invites others to see the situation from a different perspective.
Exercise: Exercising releases endorphins, which make us feel better and calms us down. This is one method that is backed by loads of science. You cannot exercise and stay angry.